My Dearest Munchers,
Oh how I miss you so!
Yesterday was one of those bitter sweet days. I was trying real hard to be happy, and for
most of the day I was. Let me explain a little
as to why I was both happy and sad.
Yesterday, September 19th, was the 2 year anniversary of your
mommy and daddy getting married. Usually
we would be so excited to celebrate such a day.
Don’t get me wrong because we were excited, it’s just that we were sad
too. We were sad because the best thing
to ever happen to the both of us was not here.
One of the best things to come from our getting married was you and we
were missing you so much on our special day.
But let me get away from the sadness for a bit and let me tell you a
story of a very magical day…..
It all started on a cloudy September morning with of course
rain. Daddy was so worried that it was
going to be a wet day and we would have to go to plan B. Daddy did not want to go to plan be so he
checked the weather report…….
As the hours ticked by we finally came to the moment that your daddy was able to see your mommy. That was a magical moment.I remember standing on the pier, with my back turned toward the dock.Then there was this tap on my shoulder and there she was, your mommy looking so beautiful. She looked like an angel.I was just amazed.I felt so lucky.We talked, we hugged, and we kissed. We took a lot of pictures before the ceremony was to start.I felt like I did not want that day to end
As the hours ticked by we finally came to the moment that your daddy was able to see your mommy. That was a magical moment.I remember standing on the pier, with my back turned toward the dock.Then there was this tap on my shoulder and there she was, your mommy looking so beautiful. She looked like an angel.I was just amazed.I felt so lucky.We talked, we hugged, and we kissed. We took a lot of pictures before the ceremony was to start.I felt like I did not want that day to end
As the ceremony was beginning, I remember thinking to
myself, “Hey, I’m not nervous”. It all
felt so right. Yes Munchers that was God
telling me that I was meant to be with your mommy. As the people sat in front of me and family
members and friends filed down the aisle I remember thinking I could not wait
to see you mommy. And there she was, all
beautiful with a big smile! I loved
it!
The ceremony was nice and the reception was a big hit. We had many family and friends around and had
a great time. When it was all over it
was just me and your mommy all alone. We
were married on the road to discovering a wonderful life together. And then came you! Our biggest blessing since that day!
And while September 19th is a happy day for us, the 19th of any month will also always bring me sadness. Because you see the 19th is when you went to go and be with God. It wasn’t the 19th of September; it was the 19th of April. It was a long 5 months ago on that day we had to say goodbye to you. And every month that has gone by is just as hard as the last if not harder. The 19th of any month is just a harsh reminder that I don’t have you here to take care of. I don’t have my Zayana Grace to hold and love and kiss and play with. And every 19 of whatever month it is I just miss you more and more. Every day you are not here with me just hurts.
I miss you so much Munchers! While the 19th of September 2011
was special, it just did not feel the same.
I was so looking forward to having you here to help us celebrate. I was so looking forward to always having my
Zayana Grace with me to tell mommy happy anniversary or happy birthday or happy
mommy day. I was looking forward to getting
up with you while mommy was still sleeping and making her breakfast, bringing
it to her and seeing her face just light up as we BOTH entered the room. I wish we could have had that. I wish you were still here.
And so Miss Zayana Grace, you see why daddy has such a
tough time. I know you do and I know
that you miss me and your mommy too. But
you luckily have God to hold you and comfort you while you wait for your mommy
and daddy. He will always be there to
comfort you and hold you and take care of you.
All things that I should be doing.
But if there is anyone I can leave you with in good capable hands, I
think God would be the top of that list.
He will take care of you just your daddy would. And in turn, He will take care of your daddy
just the same. I miss you my daughter
and I will always love you!
Daddy loves you!!!
Always and forever,
Your loving daddy
BTW – Have you met Ziggy yet? To be continued……….
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