9 Months

My dearest Zayana,

Daddy has been thinking of you all morning.  I have been thinking about how today is your 9 month birthday!  I am sending you a big, big 9 month birthday wish and hung.  I wish that I could give it to you in person but unfortunately I can’t. Daddy has been thinking about what you would be doing today.  Would you be trying to roll over?  Would you be trying to sit up?  Would you be having long conversation with daddy about the geo-political climate of today?  Maybe not the latter but you probably would be more vocal today.  I miss that.  I miss the things that we never got together. I will always miss the missed.  But I will not try to be too sad today.  That was a couple of days ago with your Heaven Day.  Today is a day of happiness.  Today 9 months ago you changed my life forever. 

Oh Munchers I just miss you so much.  It’s hard to look at your pictures and not shed a tear.  But that is ok.  I don’t mind crying anymore, especially if it’s for you.  I love all of you pictures.  I love your smiling ones, your yawning ones, your stone face poker looks, I love them all.  I am so glad I was able to take so many.  Yet sometimes I wish had taken more. 

My little Munchers is 9 months old today!!  Yea!!  You’re getting to be such a big girl.  Are you being good for Grandpa Abe and great Grandpa Mendez in heaven?  Are you having a big party with all your little angel friends?  Are you making lots of new friends?  Oh of course you are!  Silly daddy for asking!  I’m sure if you had your way you would be on Gods Heaven welcoming committee and welcoming everyone into heaven with open arms.  It sounds like something you would do.  You would be especially welcoming to all the new little ones (especially the little snowflake angels) that had to unfortunately leave their mommies and daddies and had gone to heaven.  You would tell them “Hi, I’m Zayana.  Don’t be scared.  I too had to leave my mommy and daddy.  Don’t worry, they will be ok, God will take care of them and HE will let you see them from time to time. I know you miss them because I miss my mommy and daddy too, but God will be here to take care of us.  Come on; let me show you around and what we can do here in Heaven.  You’re gonna love it!”  That’s my girl!

So what do you think about being a big sister?  Yea, you’re gonna be a big sister!  Right now there is a little baby in your mommy’s belly.  But you already know that, didn’t you?  Was that you playing with your little brother (I think) during the ultrasound?  It looked like the both of you were playing tickle games.  He was moving so much for us!  I know that was you with him.  Are you excited?  I know I am.  While I may not feel as excited as when I heard that you were inside your mommy, I truly am excited to have another little baby.  I know I have been sad lately but that is not how I feel about your little brother.  I’m sad because you’re not here to enjoy it with us.  I know, you will always be here.  I know that you will always be watching over your little brother, acting as his guardian angel. 

I know Ziggy sounds like a silly name but let me explain.  Ziggy is not going to be his real name.  It’s just a little name we are giving him until we know what he is going to be.  For now he is Ziggy the Zygote.  When we find out what sex he is then we will give him his proper name.  I know, I keep referring to Ziggy as him.  That’s because my gut tells me that Ziggy is going to be a boy.  My gut knew that you were going to be a girl, and I told everyone.  Your mommy and everyone else thought you were going to be a boy.  Not daddy, I knew you were going to be my little girl!  So for the time being HE will be known as Ziggy until we find out that he is for sure a boy.  Im glad you approve!

Happy 9 month birthday Zayana Grace.  You continue to behave for grandpa Abe, great grandpa Mendez and Tia Eva, ok.  Daddy and mommy miss you so much and think about you every day.  You are always on our minds.  Remember, daddy is sending a big hug, kiss, and birthday wish your way.  Be sure to look for your balloons and bows later today, ok.  Daddy misses you.  I Love you Munchers!!!

Always and Forever,

Your Loving Daddy